SHE'S BACK, BITCHES.

Or, for those who don't speak MouthyDragQueenese, Viva La Genesis is once again a go.

Bigger, brighter, and likely more obnoxious and snarky.

♥♥♥♥♥♥

top ten tuesday: people who can touch it

image via esjot

Okay, getting back to it! One of these days, I'm going to post everything I'm supposed to in the same week. Will it be this week? Meh. Who the hell knows.

SO. Like most people, I have celebrity crushes. A lot of celebrity crushes.

Now, I'm not a floozy. I don't sleep around, and I'm pretty darned selective when it comes to romance. But you know what? There are certain people that I would let touch it without even requiring a first date. Or a drink. Or a hello.

Top Ten People That Could Touch It

Lady Gaga

Now, let me put this out there. I am straight. Very straight. The idea of messing around with another woman's whatnot is not at all my idea of fun. And to be honest, I don't know how you hetero men and lesbians do it, because women are crazy and really scary. And that is coming from a woman who is quite frequently crazy and scary.

However. Lady Gaga could have her way with me any day of the week. I've noticed that all of my "girl crushes" are one very unique, strong, and quite-possibly-batshit-crazy women that most men would steer clear of (Ke$ha, Nicki Minaj, P!nk, etc). However, Gaga has that certain something that really draws me in. She's so bold and fearless and amazing. Also, super hot and never wears pants. Which gives her the honor of being the only lady on my Touch It list.

John Barrowman

Oh, Captain Jack, you naughty, cheeky boy.

One look at John and it's easy to see what one would let him touch it. The man is textbook. Tall, dark, handsome...and gayer than Les Cage aux Folles. Or, as he puts it, "Gold Star Gay."

As if being ridiculously attractive wasn't enough, the man sings like a bird, is a tremendous actor, and is hiiiiiiiiilarious. I had the pleasure of seeing him at a panel at C2E2, and I could not stop giggling. He seems like the nicest guy ever.

And he's pretty. Did I mention he's pretty?

Pretty.

Doctor Who

Question: Which one?

Answer: Yes.

Gerard Butler

God bless Scotland.

Note: No, I do not think he made a good Phantom. He did, however, make a good enough Phantom to bang, and that is what's important. To me. Because I'm shallow. Put Michael Crawford's voice in Gerard's body, and you have me as your naughty slave forever.

Zak Bagans

One of my favorite new traditions when I'm at my parents' house is when my mum, little sister and I all gather to watch DVR'd episodes of Ghost Adventures. We're all suckers for ghost stories (me in particular...I probably checked Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark out of my elementary school library more than the rest of the student body combined).

We're also suckers for ripped men in tight t-shirts. HEYOOOOOOOO.

My shallow is genetic.

Anyhow, Zak, at first glance, while delicious, kind of looks a little Jersey Shore. But he's really not. He seems very down-to-earth, nice, and is funny as hell. Even if he does abuse the words "bro" and "dude" a lot.

Ryan Gosling

Hey girl. I heard you want me to bang you on every surface of your house. Okay, but first, let's play with your multiple cats and knit a Hufflepuff scarf.

George Clooney

The fact that I even have to include The Clooney in this list is an outrage. Every Touch It list includes The Clooney. Because when one sees The Clooney, one should be wordless, and simply hand over one's panties to The Clooney without question.

Robert Downey Jr.

If there's one thing that I can say with certainty, is that I cannot resist a bad boy.

And RDJ is a bad boy.

My favorite thing about the Iron Man film franchise is that Robert is clearly playing himself. And himself is sex.

Johnny Depp

Here's the thing about Mr. Depp. I have a hard time lusting after him sometimes, because I idolize him so much.

Is that weird?

It's like...he's so very much my idol as far as acting goes, that he's almost untouchable.

Almost.

I'd still hit it.

I'm only human.

Jack Davenport

Oh. Hellooooooooooooo, Commodore.

Jack is just....the trifecta of all things splooshworthy. Tall, witty, handsome, British, talented. And that voice. That voice, you guys. Deep and rumbly and English and just the right sonic pitch to make my panties mysteriously disappear. It's so weird. I'm running out of panties.

infamy

image via yaya han

So, lately...or rather, for the last couple years...I've been struggling with myself. Things didn't go the way I planned back in high school, back in college. I'm twenty-seven. In high school, I thought that I'd be married, teaching, possibly a mother. In college, I thought I'd be in grad school. I thought I'd be successful.

I'm not.

I'm not where I want to be, and I hate it. A combination of depression and complete lack of self-confidence has kept me here for a long time.

And I'm over it.

So, I realized that a lot of my issues stem from expectations on me that aren't mine. Or, at least, not mine now. I'm going on the expectations of my family, my friends, and my former self, instead of what I feel is right for me now. I grew up in a traditional family, and most of my cousins my age or older are already married, engaged, having kids, and I'm...just not anywhere near that. I feel a lot of pressure to be there. But I know that right now, it's unrealistic. Marriage I could handle. Kids? No. Not even sure I want them, which would likely make most of my family blanch.

I also feel like a lot of my family doesn't care about success. Not in terms of how I define it. I feel like a lot of people around me want me to be happy in a 9-to-5 job that makes enough money for me to support myself and an okay lifestyle, and stay here in my hometown perfectly sated. And then find the obligatory husband and pop out babies.

But I'm starting to realize that that's not going to be enough for me. It makes me feel selfish, but for some reason, the idea of only a few people remembering me when I'm gone bothers me. In a few generations, no one will know my name. No one will care.

Or, that is, that's how it will be if I carry on like this.

Being loved by a few isn't enough for me. I want to be remembered. I want to know that in the future, schoolchildren will open a textbook and my name will be in it. I want to go down in history as someone who changed something.

I don't want to be famous.

I want to be infamous.

lundi links

image via ineedchemicalx

Long time, no see, poodles! Sorry for disappearing...moving and getting back into the groove of living in my hometown took longer than I expected. O.o But I'm back, with a plethora of procrastinatory aids to make up for it. ^_^

♦ A lovely post from Gala Darling about how she grew into the sparkly pink blogging maven she is today.

♦ "I promise to make sure I'm not just hungry before I yell at you." Great wedding vows we should hear more often.

♦ BBC created a site that shows you what summer Olympic sport your body type matches. Accurate? Probably not. But it's fun to play with.

♦ Speaking of Olympics, here is my favoritest couple in the world being royally cute at the events.

♦ Swamped by your inbox? Here, have some help.

♦ I used to dye flowers like this all the time, but I never realized your could make them rainbows! RAINBOW ALL THE THINGS.

♦ This. Yes.

♦ MySkins offers comfortable undergarments in TONS of skintones. Lovely!

♦ METALLIC JEANS, GET IN MY CLOSET.

♦ Medieval lingerie? My inner fashionista and history geeks are all a-flutter.

♦ Nail art taken to a whole new level.

♦ I didn't know that I needed a Walkman flask, but I know now.

♦ Katie shares my love of cafe-alone-time.

why not you?

unique individuals

My friend Joe takes us to church in a radical self love way. <3

things i love thursday

image via pqphotography

LOVE LOVE LOVE, I WANT YOUR LOVE.

♥ blanket forts ♥ making my blanket fort a check-in on foursquare ♥ officially joining the superfriends ♥ sharon needles winning drag race ♥ willambelliwillambelliwillambellieverythingwillambelli ♥ rupaul ♥ bdubs ♥ the 90's x-men animated series ♥ geekery in general ♥ sushi ♥ cute bartenders ♥ casino-bound bus trips ♥ mimosas ♥ pink pink pink ♥ my roommate running around in underwear and a batman apron ♥ new lesbian roommate! my life is turning into an episode of will & grace ♥